Hey StelloGirl Baes!!! It’s Yoyo here with a SPECIAL “ASK STELLO” post coming right at ya 😀 We get a LOOOOOT of questions sent from you awesome girlies out there and we thought it was BOUT TIME we FINALLY start answering some of them <3 I recently stumbled upon a REALLLY good question:
“Hey StelloGirls hope you can help me out. My best friends recently just stopped talking to me and have started avoiding me and not inviting me to stuff. They laugh sometimes when I walk by them, I’m so upset, I don’t know what to do, what did I do wrong?”
Well we’re ALL about confidentiality –so I’m obvs not gonna blow this gurls cover – BUT I would like to send you (you know who you are) a BIG SMOOCH for sending in this question –because almost EVERY girl goes through a period in her life where her friends stop talking to her, cut her out and even make fun of her. And when it happens- it SUCKS.
First things first, you are STRONG, SMART and WONDERFUL. I know this BLOWS right now, but you’re gunna get through it- that I can PROMISE. One thing is key, DO NOT blame yourself. Don’t torture yourself trying to think of all the infinite possibilities of what you could have done wrong, because the reality is you probably did nothing. People, even BEST friends change –especially throughout middle and high school. With all the pressure of the people around you to look “cool” sometimes one person in a friend group becomes the target. Bullying is a terrible thing to go through, especially if it’s coming from people who you used to trust and have fun with.
Now we can sit and cry cry cry ENDLESSLY about losing our friends, about being targeted and about feeling sad- but AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. Repeat to yourself: I AM FABULOUS. I AM FABULOUS. I AM FABULOUS. Why? Because you ARE fabulous!!! And if the people who you used to hang with can’t see that anymore – well then why would YOU want them in your life? If they can’t see how incredible you are then they don’t deserve you.
TRUST I went through this also, when I was about 15 years old – ALREADY in high school! I remember coming home to my mom, crying about my friends doing terrible things to me, but I kept going back to the same group! Allowing myself over and over again to be mistreated, all because I was scared of not having friends. UNTIL I realized that I was better off ALONE than with those fakers! LEGIT- each one of them was more desperate to seem “cool” than the other. When I finally dropped THEM I felt a big void. No one to sit with at lunch, no one to get notes from, no one to laugh with on the way to class. And YAS it was HARD. But you know what? It made me STRONGER, it made me learn about MYSELF and it opened space in my life for people who actually deserved to be in it and who treated me right! After 2 long months I found myself sitting in the middle of a new friend group – laughing SO HARD and feeling SO thankful that I had found REAL friends.
So GURL, when you walk by your “friends” who snicker at you – feel BAD for them, they need to torture you in order to keep their friendships afloat and that is SAAAAAAD. Keep your head up high, keep it FABULOUS and MOVE ON heart-emoticon I hope this helps, and know that the STELLOGIRLS will always be here for ya! And if any of ma girls out there are having a tough time and need advice, we gotchu! XOXO-Yoyo